Humour

Изучаем языки, делимся ссылками и книгами, даём консультации по переводу
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Humour

#1 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 3:04

Can't eat Beef ........ Mad cow


Can't eat chicken ...... Bird flu



Can't eat eggs ...... Salmonella



Can't eat pork... fears of trichinosis..


Can't eat fish ......
heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat

Can't eat fruits and veggies .......
insecticides and herbicides




Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M

I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!

Remember - - -
'STRESSED'
spelled backwards! is
' DESSERTS '


Send this to four people
and you will lose 2 kgs



(If you delete this message, you will gain
10 kgs immediately.)

'That's why I had to pass this on - -
- - - I didn't want to risk it.

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#2 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 3:30


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#3 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 3:37

Wedding Invite
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#4 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 3:39

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#5 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 5:16

Я решила почистить рабочий почтовый ящик, а просто так жалко удалять весь этот замечательный спам.
Вот и решила темку забабацать, всем остальным - тоже добро пожаловать! :)
Буду добавлять еще, когда свободные минутки будут появляться. :)

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#6 Сообщение Жужуля » 25.09.2008 5:48

I’ve cleaned your room out for you while you’ve been away, dear! :)
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#7 Сообщение Stars » 25.09.2008 19:57

Краска писал(а):Цитата:
Antidisestablishmentarianism
да!серьезно/,долго надо тренироваться :lol: :lol: :lol:
[url=http://www.pervenez.ru/][img]http://www.pervenez.ru/lines/503.gif[/img][/url]]

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#8 Сообщение Жужуля » 26.09.2008 4:54

Maya Angelou was the keynote speaker at a large pharmacy meeting in Las Vegas last December.

No one was very impressed that she was the keynote speaker (and she is much older than this photograph), but once she started to speak you could have heard a pin drop! The whole auditorium full of 12,000 people were enthralled! What a lady! If you ever get the opportunity to hear her you should take it.

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

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#9 Сообщение Жужуля » 26.09.2008 5:14

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Это про меня :ROFL:

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#10 Сообщение Stars » 26.09.2008 8:30

Жужуля писал(а):Это про меня
:D :D :D :D :D
[url=http://www.pervenez.ru/][img]http://www.pervenez.ru/lines/503.gif[/img][/url]]

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#11 Сообщение Руна » 26.09.2008 8:36

Жужуля писал(а):Изображение

Это про меня :ROFL:
:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL: эт про мой офис стопудоф
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#12 Сообщение Руна » 13.10.2008 22:13

Martisha,
:D
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#13 Сообщение Жужуля » 14.10.2008 13:18

Martisha,
:lol: :ROFL:

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#14 Сообщение Stars » 14.10.2008 13:44

Martisha,
:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
[url=http://www.pervenez.ru/][img]http://www.pervenez.ru/lines/503.gif[/img][/url]]

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#15 Сообщение Жужуля » 17.10.2008 7:28

How good is it to be Australian...

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


NOT TO MENTION...
3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue
142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth

AND FINALLY........
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet

IF YOU’RE PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN, SEND THIS ON!
:D

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